[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane

Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Lost In ConfusionLost In Confusion

My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?

The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..

Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?

I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo

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"That'

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That Feeling.

by *Sushi-The-Writer, Dec 30, 2012, 12:45:45 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

That Feeling

You glance at me as you speak to her. Your heart isn't in the conversation as she tells you about the things she likes. Basically it's on me.

My heart isn't on my friend as I speak to her. We laugh and joke but I glance at you to see if you're still looking at me. Yes, yes you are.

Why does it have to be like this? We have never said any words to each other but we're falling into a big pit.

Like the one that I feel whenever I see her with you. My blood boils with envy, my fists clench up leaving cresent shapes on my palms, and my eyes appear darker.

And I see how you get when I smile and talk to another boy. You tense up and try not to look at me. I notice that. You're jealous, aren't you?

It will take more than teasing to make admit that I am jealous so go ahead. Try to make admit. Of course, you could if you weren't surround by girls who don't have anything better to do than flirt with you.

I see that emotion in your dark eyes. I know what it is.

Longing.

Longing to get away from the crowd of girls and to the one you really care about. Which I can tell you that it's not me.

I tell you with sincerity that I would never be the one for you. I'm a terrible dreamer who does nothing but waste her time dreaming and thinking. I am not the one.

Too bad I gave you mixed messages. I just wanted to know you, not love you.

There's a difference, you know?

That Feeling.by *Sushi-The-Writer

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Haha, I was thinking of a guy that I see around and watched as he would glance at me while I was talking to someone else. I seriously can't sleep today so I'll be doing some random things. Gah, insomnia y u so mean? UnU

I've tired four times already to go to sleep. What the hell is wrong with me?

Anyway back to the story thing I just wrote. I've noticed with a lot of guys I know in real life, they get the wrong message.

For example, the guy who used to like me and made me a velcro ninja. ~~iactuallythinkhestilllikesmethough~~ I was trying to be nice to him! Just because I chuckle at someone's jokes even when they're not funny, doesn't mean I like them. Geez.

And then there's one of my "friends",
He can be the biggest ass there is and make me want to slam him against a desk until he bleeds to death, but he's a friend. A somewhat good friend. I gave him the impression that I liked him. -sigh- I don't think I'll even like him more than a friend.

Das it I think. Well I'm done my rant I guess. I hope you enjoyed.

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~Zelvya Jan 1, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Gosh.. this is so true.
Just because we can have a decent conversation and a little laugh with someone does NOT mean that we automatically like them.
Geez.. those guys are too full of themselves.

*Sushi-The-Writer Jan 1, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

True dat. I mean really... Anyone can make me laugh. >.> Geez...

~Silent-Intrigant Dec 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

True dat, Captain.

*Sushi-The-Writer Dec 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Some guys... geez..

~Silent-Intrigant Dec 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Indeed....

*Sushi-The-Writer Dec 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I mean really! There's something called being nice then there's flirting!

~Silent-Intrigant Dec 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Yes but some people lack the judgement to see the fine line.

*Sushi-The-Writer Dec 30, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

True

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That Feeling.by *Sushi-The-Writer

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