Warning: my fail attempt at crack. Strongly hinted Itacest, Germany being a pervert, and for lemony scented fiction. Read at your own risk.
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Ah, the joys of texting and being a pervert

It was a nice day at a G8 meeting and Italy was getting bored listening to the fatass America grumbling about hamburgers and whatnot so he decided to text his grumpy brother.

Italy: ciao Fratello~

Romano grunted at the feeling of his phone vibrating in his pocket so he took it out and saw Italy's text. He looked up and saw his brother winking at him. Blushing, he texted back.

Romano: what the hell is your problem?

Italy giggled to himself and texted back swiftly.

Italy: oh nothing~ Just thinking about you~

Romano: wat.

Italy: I was thinking about you... And me.... Together...

At this point, Germany was getting annoyed at hearing Italy giggling like a silly school girl so he glance at the Italian man and saw a text.

...you're so gentle... And nice when we do it.

Romano: I know I am... Because I don't want to hurt you.

At this point, Germany was blushing redder than a tomato. What the hell where they talking about?!

Italy: mm... I feel safer when I do it with you... I bet Germany would be very rough ;n;

Germany was now super confused and offended. What could Romano do that was more gentle than he?

Romano: I know. He's such a potato bastard. Don't worry after we're done this meeting, its only gonna be you and me....

What the hell was going on?! Romano winked in a text! This was some crazy shit right here! Was Italy and Romano having an incestuous relationship?! Germany's mind was filled with dirty thoughts about the two Italian boys. He didn't even noticed when Italy stood up and excused himself to use the restroom and was then followed by his brother. Germany wanted to find out.

~By the power of Ra! I command a timeskip!-

Germany followed Italy to Romano's house after the meeting. He wanted to know what was going on with the two brothers.

"Ciao, Fratello~" Italy cooed when the door was opened to reveal a Southern Italian in only boxers. Germany felt his nose hurt as he stared the two brothers. Romano welcomed his brother with a smirk and closed the door behind him.

Germany snuck over to the window and peered in to catch both brothers hugging each other. That was a rare sight to see... But then Italy kissed his brother... On the lips! This was serious shit going down. Germany continued to watch as the brothers continued a heated makeout session. They fled to the upstairs floor making Germany upset. He wanted to prove his suspicions right. He climbed a tree to look into the room they had entered and watched as Italy laid down on the bed wearing only boxers. Romano was in his closet looking for something.

Germany squinted and saw Romano pop out of the closet with... A bag of balloons.

What da hell... Germany thought as he watched Romano blow up the balloon, tie to close, and then start hitting Italy with it. Germany watched as Italy giggled and took a balloon and did the same thing. The continued until the bag of balloons was empty. Germany had been laying on the branch and was just staring at the brothers' balloon fight. Suddenly a crack sounded and he started to panic. The tree branch broke from his weight and fell to the ground with Germany still on it.

Romano heard Germany yell and walked over to the window to see the German man on the ground next to a broken branch. He smirked and returned to his brother.

"Stupid bastard. Spying on us.. Thinking we were "doing things" he chortled and then smirked at his brother.

"Luckily he won't see everything." Italy purred and giggled as Romano pecked his cheek.

"So true~"